Living the Life

This here.  This is a good article:

“Radical,” “missional” Christianity as the new legalism

 Basically, it's saying that you don't have to go out and save the world, but that you can live as a Christian in a normal suburban life.  This is something I've been thinking about a lot lately.  I'm nearing the end of my schooling, I'm about to get married, and hopefully I'll go out and find a job.  We just bought a tiny house in West Allis.  We're so...normal.
Beyond that, I have...a past.  As does everyone, I suppose.  I consider the years between 19 and 22 to have been just a strange detour in my life.  As does everyone, I suppose.  In any event, I'm back on the path of faith and starting to become a grown-up, and I'm wondering how all of "This" fits together. 
When it comes to the church, I think that the world-changers and driven missionaries are important, vital, to the church, but that not everyone can do that.  1 Corinthians 12 talks about different gifts of the spirit, and how we are all united by God's purpose into a single body.  Missionaries and world-changers aren't the end of the story.  I also think it's a bit easier to go out an do extraordinary things for God than it is to live every day for Him. Not, obviously, that the world-changers are lazy.  If someone is called and gifted to be world-changers, then it is commendable for them to do that.  However, if we put pressure on others to also be like that, we are likely to get people who are more worried about how they can dramatically show their faith than they are about actually having or living it.  God created us as individuals, with unique personalities and talents.  The best way to honor and glorify him is by being yourself, by being the best "you" you can be.  Trying to be somebody else only leads to problems.
I suppose I'm biased, because I want to focus on living my domestic life in a way that pleases God, and I don't think I'm meant for some of those "bigger" things.  Maybe I'm the lazy one.  Still, I think virtues and sins function in much the same way - Here's what I mean:
I mentioned that I've done some things in the past that I'm not proud of.  There were some "big" sins (or big for me, anyway).  It's easy to get caught up in that (I do keep bringing it up, don't I?).  It's so easy to see, to point my finger at and say, "That there!  That was bad.  Sorry.  Aren't You happy I've moved on?"  It's easy to look backwards and repent and feel good about yourself for leaving it behind.  BUT then when "little" sins start - laziness, worrying, self-absorption - it's harder to see them.  Like when a bright light goes out, and you have to adjust to the light from something smaller.  It's even harder to fix them, because they're so ingrained into your daily life (tricksy hobbitses).
So it is with virtues.  It's easy to see the big things we might do.  If we do do something amazing, it's easy to look into the past and say, "That there!  See what I did for You?  Aren't You happy I did that?"  BUT what God wants isn't necessarily "big" things - certainly not if they happen with the wrong motivations, or even with the right motivations, if we use them as an excuse to slack later.  Paul says to pray continually, and to give thanks in all circumstances.  I like to think that means not only turning your inner monologue into an inner dialogue with God, but also that every act you perform is in some way a prayer or an offering of thanks.  The Bible says that the motivation for and the result of good works are and ought to be thanksgiving.  Instead of those sneaky lifestyle sins that weave their way into our every thought and action, virtue and faith should should become so ingrained in your life.  The "big" stuff comes after.
How can we possibly do this?  It's hard.  It has to be done deliberately.  I've been thinking about this a lot as I've been trying to walk the path of faith.  At first, I was so happy to even find myself on the road that I didn't give much thought to what came next.  Now, as I look to the future, I want to grow in my faith and become mature, as we are called to do.
This "Live deliberately" thing has been cropping up in my life with some frequency lately.  First, it came in the pre-marriage classes I took with my guy. (Spell-check recommends I change this to "pee-marriage classes." Stay classy, spell-check.) Marriage isn't about finding someone you get along with and then adding in sex and living together.  You can't expect to just get together and have everything work out.  When people talk about "working for your marriage," they don't mean forcing the other person to conform to your ideals or sacrificing your deepest ideals for them, either.  It means learning as much as you can about each other.  It means constantly thinking about how what you say and do will affect each other.  It means putting the other person's needs first, and being aware enough to know what those needs are.  It means doing what is best for them - not just what you think is best for them, but what Truly is best for them.  You can only know that if you know them as well as you know yourself.  To what extent this is possible in a fallen world is debatable, but my point is that none of this is just going to happen on its own, overnight.  Poof!  We're married.  Now everything will just work.  (We'll see how well we figure any of this out once we're actually married...yikes!)
It's popped up again in contemplating children.  I'm not remotely ready for children right now, but this whole marriage thing gets one thinking, I guess.  I know a woman who married very young and had kids right away.  Normally, I would raise an eyebrow at that.  (Evidently, I'm a bit judgmental.  Oops.)  Instead, I have tremendous respect for her as a parent.  I don't agree with everything she does (one never will, with another parent), but I respect the thought she puts into everything she does.  She makes deliberate parenting choices, and she often explains them to her kids.  (I'm a huge fan of talking to children.)  She is consistent, because she has a plan.  On the other hand, I know a woman (who married late and had kids late, not that it matters, as I now see) who just assumes that because she's a parent, whatever she does is Right.  Her reason to her children is, "because I said so, " but that's also, as far as I can tell, her reason to herself.  She isn't consistent, because without a plan, her choices are based on her current moods or whims.  Again, we'll see how this plays out down the road (far down the road) for me and my family.
Even something as simple as contentedness takes work.  It's easy to slip into a negative attitude, especially as someone who has struggled with depression and grew up in a family that struggles with it.  As I mentioned in my last post, it's work to feel happy!  Attitude is suddenly a choice - just like everyone always says.  It's a choice you have to make again and again, every day.  (As, I am finding, is forgiveness.  It's not something you do once: I forgive you!  It's something you have to do over and over, every day, until it takes.  No one ever told me that.)
This is all especially hard for me, because I have never really functioned that way.  I'm the person who doesn't think about what she's saying until she's already halfway through saying it.  Sometimes, I lose track of my sentences because I started speaking the beginning before my brain had really formulated the end.  I have terminal foot-in-mouth syndrome, and I live in much the same way.  I have always valued my ability to be flexible and spontaneous.  I still think that's important.  I also think that it works better when the rest of your life is sorted out, so that you have the freedom to be spontaneous.  Moreover (and back to my original topic), faith is not spontaneous.  Maturity, consistency, and, well, life aren't spontaneous.  They require cultivation, and cultivation requires work.  If faith is a mustard seed, then your life is a garden.  Gardens don't grow by themselves (except for fern gardens...or wildflowers...whatever, just work with me).  Gardens require planning, planting, watering, weeding, and harvesting.  You can't get to the harvest without the work leading up to it, and that work is pointless if you only do it sporadically, with no plan.
And so, God help me, I am lead to conclude:  Life is a garden.  Dig it!

(I'm sorry.  But really, where else was I going to go with that?)