So, working at Starbucks is killing my writing. Not that I was doing a ton of that anyway, but I'm a night owl, and my writing-brain usually turns on between 7:30 and 9, which is prime bed-time for me now.
Which is not to say that I don't love my job, because I do. I work with only nice people (for the first time in my life - and I'm not exaggerating - literally, ONLY nice people. Awesome!) I have benefits. It's tough supporting both myself and Husband on near-minimum-wage, but with food stamps (so great) and a little help from the parents, we're doing ok while he continues his job search.
Obviously, this post isn't about any of this.
The title comes from an REM song that I like. It's not my favorite, but when the day arrives that I can't think of an REM song that's at least mildly related to the topic at hand, I might as well just stop living. I like REM, is my point. Also, the lead singer from REM looks a bit like a bald, sad Ewan McGregor, which is a fact that the world must acknowledge.
That's still not what this was meant to be about. I suck at this blog crap.
Well, to be honest, I'm dancing around this because I'm at a weird crossroads and there's religious and personal and bitter and scary stuff all tied up in it, so I'm avoiding talking about it.
I've decided to leave the WELS, the church body that I was raised in.
Tuesday, October 28, 2014
Saturday, September 27, 2014
My (Very, Very Incomplete) Thoughts on Abortion
Here's another one that's been mulling in my mind for a long time now. My 3 regular readers (Hi guys!) have seen it pop up a few times as I have begun to contemplate it. It's about abortion. Eeww. I'm not sure how much my opinions have changed, but I am aware that they are on the move. So here's my brain as it grapples with an incredibly difficult and divisive issue.
(Another opinion that's on the move for me is my affiliation with the Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod. I'm not going to write about that now, but I will when I've had a chance to think through it better and gather my thoughts...but I'm actively seeking a LCMS church to attend in my area. So, not a huge change, I know - I'm Lutheran, dammit, and I loves me some liturgy, so there's only so far I can drift.)
ANYWAY
What started it is this article: When evangelicals were pro-choice. Here's the juicy bit (verses, as always, linked for your convenience):
(Another opinion that's on the move for me is my affiliation with the Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod. I'm not going to write about that now, but I will when I've had a chance to think through it better and gather my thoughts...but I'm actively seeking a LCMS church to attend in my area. So, not a huge change, I know - I'm Lutheran, dammit, and I loves me some liturgy, so there's only so far I can drift.)
ANYWAY
What started it is this article: When evangelicals were pro-choice. Here's the juicy bit (verses, as always, linked for your convenience):
"In 1968, Christianity Today published a special issue on contraception and abortion, encapsulating the consensus among evangelical thinkers at the time. In the leading article, professor Bruce Waltke, of the famously conservative Dallas Theological Seminary, explained the Bible plainly teaches that life begins at birth:
“God does not regard the fetus as a soul, no matter how far gestation has progressed. The Law plainly exacts: 'If a man kills any human life he will be put to death' (Lev. 24:17). But according to Exodus 21:22–24, the destruction of the fetus is not a capital offense… Clearly, then, in contrast to the mother, the fetus is not reckoned as a soul.”
The magazine Christian Life agreed, insisting, “The Bible definitely pinpoints a difference in the value of a fetus and an adult.” And the Southern Baptist Convention passed a 1971 resolution affirming abortion should be legal not only to protect the life of the mother, but to protect her emotional health as well."
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
Whoa!
Ok, so this is a sort of non-post post. I've been dealing with some shit in my personal life that's put me behind, and also I'm working on a post dealing with abortion, even though I'm pretty sure no one wants that, because, quite often, writing these things is how I sort them out myself, in my own head. I need to do that. That topic, however, is WAY more tangled and confusing than anything I've tackled thus far, to my own very great surprise.
Anyway, I caught wind of a fabulous discussion happening in my vicinity, and thought I'd share part of it with you (none of it is my own words).
I have an internet friend who is a cultural Jew, an actual atheist, an expert historian on Victorian sexuality (specifically same-sex relations [if I understand that correctly]), a regular Anglican church attendee (while she was in Cambridge), and an all-around interesting, thoughtful, and lovely liberal person. She undertook to read the Bible, in an attempt to understand more of her own heritage and the prevailing cultural norm, etc. I have great respect for that - not a lot of people would do it (Interesting! Thoughtful! Lovely!) She's been posting little updates and questions as she goes. Today's was this:
Anyway, I caught wind of a fabulous discussion happening in my vicinity, and thought I'd share part of it with you (none of it is my own words).
I have an internet friend who is a cultural Jew, an actual atheist, an expert historian on Victorian sexuality (specifically same-sex relations [if I understand that correctly]), a regular Anglican church attendee (while she was in Cambridge), and an all-around interesting, thoughtful, and lovely liberal person. She undertook to read the Bible, in an attempt to understand more of her own heritage and the prevailing cultural norm, etc. I have great respect for that - not a lot of people would do it (Interesting! Thoughtful! Lovely!) She's been posting little updates and questions as she goes. Today's was this:
"My jaw drops lower with each chapter of Leviticus, which manages to top the last in moral precepts completely and utterly at odds with the world I live in. Liberal members of the Abrahamic faiths, how do you even cope with the fact that this text is a central part of your scriptural tradition?!
Tuesday, July 8, 2014
Oyster Man
Ok, here's another fiction piece. It's one I've been holding back for a while, because I can't quite get it right, but I think that maybe this is as good as it's going to get. It's not bad, but it's not as beautiful or as salty as it is in my head. Anyway, it's called Oyster Man, for no reason whatsoever:
In my dreams, I see the future. I don’t know how, or why, but I know that if I want to keep doing it, I have to stay pure. I know this the way one knows things in a dream, without needing to be told, without doubting the veracity. So I have my little rituals. I stay clean, I don’t touch other people, I only buy certain brands of clothing, that sort of thing. I always know what to do. A few of the prohibitions rankle me, but the reward is so very worth the price.
In my dreams, I am alive. Vibrantly, shiningly, gloriously alive in the way one can’t be alive in life. My life is Plato’s cave, but in my dreams, I see Truth. Everything I dream is true, comes true. Every single thing.
She came to me one night in my dreams. I stood on my balcony and She walked down the telephone wire to get to me. Her hair was black, Her lips were red, and Her eyes were the sea itself, liquid and profound. She wanted me for Herself. “Come with me,” She said, “Dream for me. I can give you freedom. Freedom to dream, freedom from purity,” But I don’t let Her finish. I turn and open the sliding glass door. I do not trust Her. I dream only for myself.
In my dream, the storm whips around me. She calls out my name, 3 times. “Amos! Amos! Amos!” I turn my back and begin to go inside. My vision blurs.
My dreams are never indistinct.
Cold wind blows the rain into my apartment. Papers fly. Huge gusts knock over my bookshelf and send me sprawling. I turn my head to look back, shielding my eyes with one hand, and my vision clears. She drops her arms and the wind dies and she is gone. I wake in a sweat. I spend the rest of the night tossing in bed.
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
The Innkeep's Perspective
So, here's a bit of fiction. It's from a writing prompt where you're supposed to talk about a historical event from the perspective of someone in the time - I went with a random innkeeper in the town of Gevaudan, between the royal hunters' supposed killing of the beast and Jean Chastel's supposed killing of the beast. It was mostly a practice in dialogue (or monologue, I guess). But here it be, hope you enjoy it.
"I don’t think much of it, either. It’s been a year since those fancy sods left, taking their prize with them. 'Msgr. Jean Charles Marc Antoine Vaumesle d'Enneval' gets to take his fancy new titles and his great big sack of money and settle down. It wasn’t even 3 months later there was another attack, but nope! The beast’s dead! Musta been something else hurt those little girls.
"I don’t think much of it, either. It’s been a year since those fancy sods left, taking their prize with them. 'Msgr. Jean Charles Marc Antoine Vaumesle d'Enneval' gets to take his fancy new titles and his great big sack of money and settle down. It wasn’t even 3 months later there was another attack, but nope! The beast’s dead! Musta been something else hurt those little girls.
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
Short Hair, Don't Care
THIS:
From the comments:
"What about saving your body for your future husband?"
Well, looking at something doesn't mean you own it. Exposing something doesn't mean you share it. This is why you neighbor doesn't occasionally drive your car to work, even if it's sitting in your driveway every day.
And while we're on this metaphor, can we stop comparing women to cars and, occasionally, cows? Weirdly, people are different than objects. The fact that we can compare a woman to a car and then go on, in the same metaphor, to show how cars are more respected is really, truly alarming.
"But your body doesn't belong to you, it belongs to God and your husband."
First of all, if you're so concerned that I'm desecrating the holy temple that is my body, I hope you're really, really fit. Like, mostly vegetarian, working out several times a week kind of fit. Anyway, God said to be "modest." Modesty is cultural. Paul talks about braiding hair or not having short hair, and we tend to ignore those rules because, really? Who thinks about hair that much? Ancient Romans, evidently. Modesty is a moving target.
I would argue that the intent of the exhortations on modesty had more to do with the intent of the one being modest. Why are you wearing that? Because it's comfortable? Because you like it? Or to attract sexual attention? I have a baggy hoodie that I have worn, on purpose, to attract sexual attention, back in my naughtier days. It may sound odd, but it worked like a charm. No one on earth would have called that sweater "immodest," but it was, because I was immodest in my intent.
Also, a man's body is also God's, but nobody shames them for jogging shirtless. Or wearing basketball shorts with nothing underneath (one of my favorites). So let's not pretend this article isn't relevant.
As to your body belonging to your husband, his body also belongs to you. Read the WHOLE VERSE. It's not about possession. It's about mutual respect, commitment, and taking care of each other. It's about - wait for it - consent. Consent. Good word, consent. We should talk about consent more often. Because consent is important! Boy, do I like consent. It's weird that consent seems to be something only "the left" or "the feminazis" are talking about, because consent is right there in the Bible. Inside marriage, consent is still a thing. Wow! Consent! (Ok, I'm done now.)
"Men and women are different. Women don't think that way...Something something Testosterone" (also, any comment where womens' "lust" is put in "quotes" like a "unicorn" who "doesn't exist")
I'm sorry, have you met me? Here's an awkward fact: I have only once dated a man who could match me in sex drive. Not that it's a big pool, but that's like 25%, so still less than half. So don't talk to me about women having less of a need for sex.
Also, where is that in the Bible? Where does it say that men and women are innately built to be different? I haven't figured that one out yet.
"Women can't be sexist!" (A complaint that an article written by a woman was one of those satirized)
Yes, in fact, they can. Next question
"Paul argues against tempting others in 1 Cor 8"
This is an interesting passage, and I tend to view part of it as evidence that sin is whatever we think it is - that is, if something is not specifically forbidden by scripture, but we, for some reason, think it's a sin, then do it anyway, we actually have sinned, even if it wasn't originally a sin. That's a whole different discussion, with so many tangents and dangerous arguments, but I'm well aware of the verse.
Anyway, Paul is talking about peer pressure. If we were to apply this to clothing, it wouldn't be: That person is wearing a short skirt -> I'm going to go have lust over here and/or I guess it's ok to rape her. It would be: As a lady, I notice that that person is wearing a short skirt, which I think is a sin -> But if she's doing it, I should too -> Oh no, I'm wearing a short skirt and now I have sinned. We should, certainly avoid causing our brothers and sisters in Christ to sin. However, we simply can't have enough knowledge of a complete stranger's tastes and moral standing. We do our best. But the amount of shaming that flies around about this one thing is ridiculous.
So: If you have a male friend, and you know he has a thing for, say, tennis skirts, maybe don't wear a tennis skirt around him. Maybe don't play tennis with him. But if you're playing tennis with other people, don't feel like you have to wear sweat pants just to avoid having complete strangers lust over you. Play tennis like a human.
WHY CAN'T WE ALL JUST BE HUMANS?
I don't know, It's like 6pm and I work at Starbucks now, so I'm too tired to end this post because it's almost bedtime and I haven't eaten supper yet. I just got all...infuriated on my insides while reading the comments to this awesome satirical article. I don't know why I went down there. YOU NEVER GO DOWN THERE. I wasn't even going to do this tonight. LEAVE ME ALONE, WORLD.
Um...
KBYE
When
Suits Become a Stumbling Block: A Plea to My Brothers in Christ - See
more at:
http://thesaltcollective.org/modesty-whensuitsbecomestumblingblock/#sthash.z16WBDam.dpuf
When Suits Become Stumbling Blocks: A Plea to My Brothers in Christ
Read it. Savor it. Then go, and sin no more.
From the comments:
"What about saving your body for your future husband?"
Well, looking at something doesn't mean you own it. Exposing something doesn't mean you share it. This is why you neighbor doesn't occasionally drive your car to work, even if it's sitting in your driveway every day.
And while we're on this metaphor, can we stop comparing women to cars and, occasionally, cows? Weirdly, people are different than objects. The fact that we can compare a woman to a car and then go on, in the same metaphor, to show how cars are more respected is really, truly alarming.
"But your body doesn't belong to you, it belongs to God and your husband."
First of all, if you're so concerned that I'm desecrating the holy temple that is my body, I hope you're really, really fit. Like, mostly vegetarian, working out several times a week kind of fit. Anyway, God said to be "modest." Modesty is cultural. Paul talks about braiding hair or not having short hair, and we tend to ignore those rules because, really? Who thinks about hair that much? Ancient Romans, evidently. Modesty is a moving target.
I would argue that the intent of the exhortations on modesty had more to do with the intent of the one being modest. Why are you wearing that? Because it's comfortable? Because you like it? Or to attract sexual attention? I have a baggy hoodie that I have worn, on purpose, to attract sexual attention, back in my naughtier days. It may sound odd, but it worked like a charm. No one on earth would have called that sweater "immodest," but it was, because I was immodest in my intent.
Also, a man's body is also God's, but nobody shames them for jogging shirtless. Or wearing basketball shorts with nothing underneath (one of my favorites). So let's not pretend this article isn't relevant.
As to your body belonging to your husband, his body also belongs to you. Read the WHOLE VERSE. It's not about possession. It's about mutual respect, commitment, and taking care of each other. It's about - wait for it - consent. Consent. Good word, consent. We should talk about consent more often. Because consent is important! Boy, do I like consent. It's weird that consent seems to be something only "the left" or "the feminazis" are talking about, because consent is right there in the Bible. Inside marriage, consent is still a thing. Wow! Consent! (Ok, I'm done now.)
"Men and women are different. Women don't think that way...Something something Testosterone" (also, any comment where womens' "lust" is put in "quotes" like a "unicorn" who "doesn't exist")
I'm sorry, have you met me? Here's an awkward fact: I have only once dated a man who could match me in sex drive. Not that it's a big pool, but that's like 25%, so still less than half. So don't talk to me about women having less of a need for sex.
Also, where is that in the Bible? Where does it say that men and women are innately built to be different? I haven't figured that one out yet.
"Women can't be sexist!" (A complaint that an article written by a woman was one of those satirized)
Yes, in fact, they can. Next question
"Paul argues against tempting others in 1 Cor 8"
This is an interesting passage, and I tend to view part of it as evidence that sin is whatever we think it is - that is, if something is not specifically forbidden by scripture, but we, for some reason, think it's a sin, then do it anyway, we actually have sinned, even if it wasn't originally a sin. That's a whole different discussion, with so many tangents and dangerous arguments, but I'm well aware of the verse.
Anyway, Paul is talking about peer pressure. If we were to apply this to clothing, it wouldn't be: That person is wearing a short skirt -> I'm going to go have lust over here and/or I guess it's ok to rape her. It would be: As a lady, I notice that that person is wearing a short skirt, which I think is a sin -> But if she's doing it, I should too -> Oh no, I'm wearing a short skirt and now I have sinned. We should, certainly avoid causing our brothers and sisters in Christ to sin. However, we simply can't have enough knowledge of a complete stranger's tastes and moral standing. We do our best. But the amount of shaming that flies around about this one thing is ridiculous.
So: If you have a male friend, and you know he has a thing for, say, tennis skirts, maybe don't wear a tennis skirt around him. Maybe don't play tennis with him. But if you're playing tennis with other people, don't feel like you have to wear sweat pants just to avoid having complete strangers lust over you. Play tennis like a human.
WHY CAN'T WE ALL JUST BE HUMANS?
I don't know, It's like 6pm and I work at Starbucks now, so I'm too tired to end this post because it's almost bedtime and I haven't eaten supper yet. I just got all...infuriated on my insides while reading the comments to this awesome satirical article. I don't know why I went down there. YOU NEVER GO DOWN THERE. I wasn't even going to do this tonight. LEAVE ME ALONE, WORLD.
Um...
KBYE
This
is one of the most misunderstood teachings in Christianity… Christians
believe that our bodies, in marriage, belong to ONE ANOTHER. Not “your
body belongs to your husband” or “to your wife”, but to each other. ..
which means you are to treat one another with the utmost in respect and
love.
It’s not about possession. It’s about commitment and mutual respect.
- See more at: http://thesaltcollective.org/modesty-whensuitsbecomestumblingblock/#sthash.z16WBDam.dpuf
It’s not about possession. It’s about commitment and mutual respect.
- See more at: http://thesaltcollective.org/modesty-whensuitsbecomestumblingblock/#sthash.z16WBDam.dpuf
This
is one of the most misunderstood teachings in Christianity… Christians
believe that our bodies, in marriage, belong to ONE ANOTHER. Not “your
body belongs to your husband” or “to your wife”, but to each other. ..
which means you are to treat one another with the utmost in respect and
love.
It’s not about possession. It’s about commitment and mutual respect.
- See more at: http://thesaltcollective.org/modesty-whensuitsbecomestumblingblock/#sthash.z16WBDam.dpuf
It’s not about possession. It’s about commitment and mutual respect.
- See more at: http://thesaltcollective.org/modesty-whensuitsbecomestumblingblock/#sthash.z16WBDam.dpuf
When
Suits Become a Stumbling Block: A Plea to My Brothers in Christ - See
more at:
http://thesaltcollective.org/modesty-whensuitsbecomestumblingblock/#sthash.z16WBDam.dpuf
Sunday, June 22, 2014
Grief, Anger, Prayer
Here's one that's been mulling a while as well. Another big one, like the forgiveness thing. It comes from places very personal to people close to me.
My mom is going through a very painful (and biblically sanctioned) divorce right now - after 20 years of marriage. It's a difficult process anyway, but made all the more difficult by an unsupportive pastor, a soon-to-be-ex-husband who continues to disrespect her, and a community of fellow Christians who judge her for being angry.
At the same time, I have friends who recently found out that they can't have children. Perhaps they'll adopt or take some other option, but for now, I imagine it hits like a betrayal. A betrayal of one's own body, and even a betrayal by the One who made those bodies. A strong Christian couple, who I have no doubt would be awesome parents - how can He do this to them? Here again, there are people - fellow Christians - who want to say, "You shouldn't be angry."
Now honestly, I have no real clue what the people in either of my stories is going through. I haven't had to go through anything like that myself. But I know grief, and that's what this is. People talk about grief in situations of death, but it can (obviously, I would think) be relevant to other situations as well. It's still death, of a sort - death of a marriage, of a dream, whathaveyou. The Bible certainly takes such things seriously - barrenness and adultery are used frequently as illustrations and examples of bad things in the Bible.
Now, I've got 3 things all tangled together in my mind as a result of this - Grief, Prayer, and and Anger. What is grief? Is grief different for a Christian? How do grief and anger affect prayer? Is it ok to be angry? Is it ok to be angry at God?
My mom is going through a very painful (and biblically sanctioned) divorce right now - after 20 years of marriage. It's a difficult process anyway, but made all the more difficult by an unsupportive pastor, a soon-to-be-ex-husband who continues to disrespect her, and a community of fellow Christians who judge her for being angry.
At the same time, I have friends who recently found out that they can't have children. Perhaps they'll adopt or take some other option, but for now, I imagine it hits like a betrayal. A betrayal of one's own body, and even a betrayal by the One who made those bodies. A strong Christian couple, who I have no doubt would be awesome parents - how can He do this to them? Here again, there are people - fellow Christians - who want to say, "You shouldn't be angry."
Now honestly, I have no real clue what the people in either of my stories is going through. I haven't had to go through anything like that myself. But I know grief, and that's what this is. People talk about grief in situations of death, but it can (obviously, I would think) be relevant to other situations as well. It's still death, of a sort - death of a marriage, of a dream, whathaveyou. The Bible certainly takes such things seriously - barrenness and adultery are used frequently as illustrations and examples of bad things in the Bible.
Now, I've got 3 things all tangled together in my mind as a result of this - Grief, Prayer, and and Anger. What is grief? Is grief different for a Christian? How do grief and anger affect prayer? Is it ok to be angry? Is it ok to be angry at God?
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